My Favorite Holiday Recipe

Merry Christmas!! Hope you enjoy this traditional family recipe as much as I do...



-Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:
> 1 cup of water
> 1 tsp baking soda
> 1 cup of sugar
> 1 tsp salt
> 1 cup of brown sugar
> lemon juice
> 4 large eggs
> nuts
> 1 bottle of Vodka
> 2 cups dried fruit


Sample the vodka to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the vodka again to be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill okay.

Try another cup... just in case...

Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit. ->Ooh... Check the vodka.

Now, shift the lemon juice and strain the nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven and turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and fall into bed.

Cherry Mistmas!

Meowsh!